This Retro Pasta Salad Has All of the Best Things: Bacon, Ranch, and Cucumber

Even though my diet has changed considerably from when I was ten years old, I still have fond memories of the (mostly processed) foods I lived on in the ’90s. I have a particular soft spot for the boxed pasta salad brand Suddenly Salad. 

The Classic and the Ranch & Bacon flavors were in heavy rotation at my house, and whenever my mom would make them, we’d sing, “Suddenly Salad” to the tune of “Suddenly Seymour” from the musical Little Shop of Horrors and totally crack ourselves up. Back then, I would always judiciously pick out the peas in my serving, which I felt strongly didn’t belong there.

From time to time, when I’m feeling nostalgic, I’ll revisit the boxed version of pasta salad (and yes, I still belt out the song), but more often, I make my own version with shell pasta, bacon, ranch dressing, and cucumbers. 

A Salad That Belongs On Your Summer Table

I love the way the fresh, crisp cucumbers contrast and balance the smoky bacon and creamy dressing (with no peas in sight). Depending on the crowd, I might add some red onion or herbs, but I like it pretty basic, and I serve it all summer long, especially for cookouts. I also love it because it doesn’t dry out as fast as other pasta salads, thanks to the mayo.

Making this pasta salad couldn’t be easier. After boiling, rinsing, and draining the pasta, make a dressing by combining mayonnaise, a splash of milk, and ranch seasoning (Hidden Valley, of course). Dice a cucumber and roughly chop a few strips of cooked bacon. 

Combine it all and you’ve got a delicious, cookout-worthy pasta salad in about 20 minutes.

Tips for Making My Cucumber Bacon Ranch Pasta Salad

• Pasta Options: You can use any small pasta shape you like here. Orecchiette would be a smart play on the typical small shells, but you can also use farfalle, radiatori, lumaconi (lumache), or whatever you’ve got on hand.
• An Easy Upgrade: Give your dressing an extra umami boost by adding half a teaspoon or so of Dijon mustard.
• Bulk It Up: Include more add-ins like tomatoes, chopped red onions, shredded carrots, or even…peas to add heft.
• Herb’s the Word: Adding fresh chopped herbs like basil, parsley, or chives contributes a lovely freshness and visual contrast.
• Add a Protein: Make it a lunch-worthy pasta salad by adding diced grilled chicken breast.

How To Make My Cucumber Bacon Ranch Pasta Salad

For four to six servings, you’ll need:

• Salt, to taste
• 2 cups small pasta, such as small shells, orecchiette, or farfalle  
• 2 slices bacon
• 1/2 cup mayonnaise
• 2 tablespoons dry ranch seasoning, such as Hidden Valley
• 1 tablespoon milk
• 1 English cucumber, diced

Bring a large pot of salted water to a boil over high heat. Cook the pasta al dente according to the package directions. Drain, rinse until cool, and set aside.

While the pasta cooks, place the bacon in a large pan over medium-low heat. Cook, turning occasionally, until crispy, about 12 minutes. Drain on a paper towel, then chop into small pieces.

In a large serving bowl, stir to combine the mayonnaise, ranch seasoning, and milk. Add the drained pasta to the bowl and mix well to coat with the dressing. Add the chopped bacon and cucumbers, mix thoroughly, and serve. 

Store leftovers in an airtight container in the refrigerator for up to 4 days. If the pasta salad starts to dry out, mix in a splash of milk or a dollop of mayonnaise before serving.